


the greatest films of all time were never made

by onakissgodknows



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Blood and Injury, But They Don't Remember It, Intimacy, Kissing, M/M, Past Relationship(s), in a dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26367844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onakissgodknows/pseuds/onakissgodknows
Summary: "I’m just not used to, you know. People caring if I’m dead or alive.”Magnus cares. Magnus has always cared, as long as he can remember and then some, and he just wishes he knew why.
Relationships: Magnus Burnsides/Taako
Comments: 9
Kudos: 77





	the greatest films of all time were never made

**Author's Note:**

> This is set sometime between Petals to the Metal and Crystal Kingdom, but the timeline might be a little wobbly, sorry if that's the case!

_Magnus doesn’t know how he got here but they’re losing the fight. He hefts his axe in slow-motion, barely getting there in time to cleave a shadowy enemy in two._

_Taako is here, dressed in some kind of red uniform Magnus vaguely thinks he should recognize but doesn’t. He turns to Magnus and smiles, his teeth stained with his own blood, and he spits a mouthful of it on the ground at Magnus’s feet. “Think that’s about it for me this time around, huh, Mags?”_

_“W-what?” Magnus can’t comprehend what’s happening. As he looks at Taako he realizes that Taako’s red clothes are torn, with several deep wounds slashed across his chest, blood seeping from each of them, and it’s a wonder Taako is still on his feet at all._

_This is a dream, Magnus thinks distantly._

_It feels too real to be a dream._

_Taako sinks to his knees, pressing pale bloodstained hands to his wounds. “Made it almost to the end,” Taako manages, and still he smiles at Magnus, and Magnus wishes he wouldn’t because he can’t look at Taako’s mouth when it’s full of blood._

_Panic floods Magnus’s chest. Why is Taako hurt? Why is Taako dying? Why wasn’t Magnus there to stop this?_

_Magnus is on his knees next to Taako, gathering him into his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there, I didn’t see, I don’t know – “ There’s a battle raging around them, but everything is a blur except for him and Taako. They’re the only things that feel real._

_Taako coughs, and blood trickles from his mouth. “Hey, man, don’t sweat it, right?” His tone is light, but speaking is obviously a struggle, and it’s abundantly clear to Magnus, who knows Taako like the back of his hand, that he is barely fighting off his own fear. His narrow, ruined chest heaves with quick, shallow breaths. “It’s – it’s just for now. I’ll come back – you know that, I’ll come back – “_

_Then Taako is still and cold and his eyes are vacant like he wasn’t moments ago talking to Magnus, and Taako’s body falls from his arms and Magnus knows overwhelmingly that he failed, that the only reason he was part of this team was to keep this, exactly this from happening and Taako is dead and Magnus failed and who knows what will happen now –_

Magnus wakes with a start in a dark room. It takes him a long, long moment to understand where he is. He’s in their spacious dormitory room at the Bureau of Balance, on the bottom level of the bunk bed he shared with Robbie before Robbie got put in prison. Magnus thinks of Robbie for a moment, tries to remember why he was imprisoned, and realizes he doesn’t know, that he never knew in the first place.

Across the room he can hear a faint snoring, and realizes it’s Merle, on the bottom of the other bunk bed in the room, the one he shares with –

Taako.

Now fully conscious, now completely aware of his surroundings, Magnus scrambles to his feet and rushes across the room to the other bunk bed. The top bunk is high enough that even Magnus isn’t quite at eye level with the lump of sleeping elf curled up therein, but he curls a hand around the bedpost and whispers, “Taako?”

Taako doesn’t stir, and panic grips Magnus once again and he raps his knuckles on the bedpost now, and more urgently says, “Taako, wake up!”

The blankets twitch, and then Taako’s cranky, half-asleep voice says, “ _What_?”

Magnus feels his body slump as relief courses through him, and a moment later he feels a little silly. “Just wanted to check on you.” Taako’s fine. Of course Taako’s fine.

Taako rolls over and pulls himself to the edge of the mattress to peer down at Magnus, blinking owlishly from beneath a halo of golden hair pulling itself free of its braid. His eyes are gray-blue like the sky after a storm. The starlight flooding in from the window is just enough to illuminate Taako’s freckled cheeks, freckles that Magnus almost feels like he should be able to map out from memory.

Which is silly, too. He hasn’t known Taako very long.

“In the middle of the night?” Taako says skeptically. “Yeah, I’m good, bud. Just sleeping. You know?” 

“Yeah, I – I just – “ Magnus rubs at his eyes with his palm and feels dampness there. Was he crying in his sleep? “Bad dream,” he finishes faintly.

Taako looks at him a long moment, then sits up, untangling himself. He scoots to the edge of the bed and unfurls his lithe body to drop to the floor without bothering with the ladder. He lands surprisingly quietly on bare feet.

Though they’ve shared this room with Merle and Robbie for months, Magnus doesn’t often look at Taako so closely after nightfall. He’s dressed in soft leggings and a lace-up sleep shirt that hangs loose around his thin frame. His hair is still in its usual braid, but it’s messy now after having slept a few hours. Taako looks much smaller without his oversized hat. It’s as if the hat is some sort of defense mechanism, the way animals puff themselves up to look bigger and more threatening. Magnus smiles a little at the thought.

“Must’ve been a hell of a fucking bad dream,” Taako remarks, facing Magnus now. “You look _freaked_.”

Taako, on the other hand, looks soft with sleep, like he hasn’t quite fully awakened yet. His face doesn’t hold the same haughty rigidity he tends to favor in daylight. His half-lidded eyes are only half-awake, not bored and indifferent, and his expression is relaxed, rather than his usual clenched jaw and jutted chin, daring anyone to start something.

Merle is still snoring softly. Magnus turns and goes to the couch that’s shoved into the corner of their room. Magnus sits; Taako follows, footsteps soft on the cold tile floor.

“It was weird,” Magnus says to Taako, who’s chosen to stand in front of him rather than sit down next to him. From here, Magnus has to tilt his head up to meet Taako’s eyes, but only a little.

Looking him in the eye proves too much right now, so Magnus doesn’t. “It was like – it wasn’t a dream, it was more like a memory. It felt that real.” He can _remember_ how Taako felt, limp in his arms. Dead weight. He shudders.

“Wanna talk about it, Mags?” Taako asks. “I’m not much for talkin’ about our feelings, but I could give it a go.”

Magnus struggles. He doesn’t know how to express this. “You died,” he says abruptly, and something in Taako’s face stiffens ever-so-slightly. “You died and it wasn’t like I was dreaming it, it was like remembering it.”

Taako’s quiet a long time, then says, “Huh.”

“What?”

“Well, I sure as hell am not dead, Magnus. Do I look like a ghost to you?”

Magnus shakes his head and tries to smile. “No.”

That doesn’t shake the realism of the dream, though. He looks down at his hands, half-sure he will find Taako’s blood on them. He glances at Taako’s clothes – white shirt and black leggings, nothing red. He’s not sure he’s ever seen Taako wear red at all.

“I think if I was dead I’d know!” Taako says, a little indignant now.

“No. Of course.” Magnus can hardly look at him. “It’s only that – you know, if something happens to you, or to Merle – “ He gestures toward the dwarf, who is still snoring softly. “Well, that’d be on me, wouldn’t it?”

Taako’s hand finds Magnus’s cheek. His palm is soft and his skin smells nice, like whatever lotion Taako put on before bed. Taako wipes away a tear that clung to Magnus’s cheek with his thumb. “And how do you figure that?”

Magnus shrugs helplessly and hopes Taako doesn’t stop touching him. “It’s my job, right? I’m – I’m supposed to protect you guys, and if I can’t do that – “

“You know, I don’t really like that,” Taako says, frowning. “I mean, sure, fine, you want to throw yourself on a grenade for me or old Merle – well, don’t do that, first of all, but if you want to I can’t stop you, but….you know I can handle myself, right? I’m not some shrinking violet!”

“I know!” Magnus says. Taako’s hand is still on his face. He idly strokes his fingers down Magnus’s cheek, through his beard, cupping his chin. It is _distracting_. “But if you get hurt because I – lose focus, or am not paying enough attention to you because I’m caught up in my own thing, that is on me. It’s my job to, you know….”

“Take the big hits?” Taako supplies, nodding. “Yeah, I know. Not gonna lie, better you than me on some of those. But shit, man – “ here Taako suppresses a yawn by placing the back of his free hand to his mouth, “you can’t beat yourself up over a dream.”

It wasn’t a dream, Magnus thinks unhappily, but he doesn’t know how to explain that to himself, let alone to Taako. Anyway, Taako’s hand is still on his face in a comforting way, and that feels familiar in a way that Magnus can’t explain either.

Magnus nods. “I guess you’re right,” he finally says.

“Of course I am,” Taako says, and he throws himself onto the couch next to Magnus, which means he’s not touching Magnus’s face anymore, which Magnus doesn’t like, but Taako curls into the cushion next to Magnus, twisted up like a pretzel. He rests his elbow on one knee and his other knee presses sharply into Magnus’s thigh. This couch is too small. “So tell me,” Taako says around another yawn, “if I died in your dream, was it at least cool?”

“No!” Magnus says, a little appalled. “No, Taako, it wasn’t _cool_. It was scary as shit and I felt terrible.”

“All right, all right,” Taako says. “Thought maybe I went down kicking ass or something.”

Death is never cool, Magnus _knows_ this. He’s always hoped that he himself might go down in a blaze of glory eventually (probably sooner rather than later, given the way he lives his life) but watching it happen to someone else is not fun.

There was nothing glamorous about holding Taako’s limp body. He finds himself thinking about the blood on his hands, the blood pouring from the gashes across Taako’s chest – he finds his eyes drawn to Taako’s neckline, the curve of his clavicle casting shadows into the hollow of his neck, the pale skin visible above the v-neck of his shirt, most of his chest hidden behind fabric and laces, but Magnus can’t help but wonder if there are scars. Injuries like that couldn’t _not_ scar, and Magnus can’t shake the thought that this wasn’t a dream at all.

Taako notices and furrows his eyebrows, self-consciously fumbling with the laces on his shirt to tighten them. “Whatcha looking at, big guy?”

Magnus looks away, embarrassed. “Sorry. It’s that dream. You had, like…” Magnus gestures to his own chest. “Wounds. A lot of them, all over your chest. A lot of blood.”

Taako’s expression softens. “Hey, man. It’ll take more than a little old nightmare to kill Taako. Bigger things than that have tried, and I’m still kickin’.”

“Still kickin’,” Magnus echoes.

“Yeah. Sometimes I think it’s mostly out of spite, but hell, whatever works.”

Both of them fall silent. It’s more vulnerability than Magnus expected from Taako, and probably more than Taako expected to expose.

“Forget it,” Taako says shortly.

“No, Taako, it’s – “

“Forget I said shit, okay?” His voice is a little rough.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Taako shakes his head. “You didn’t. I’m just not used to, you know. People caring if I’m dead or alive.”

Magnus cares. Magnus has always cared, as long as he can remember and then some, and he just wishes he knew why. Taako’s bony knee digs insistently into Magnus’s thigh. Magnus thinks about wounds and scars.

“Flesh and blood, buddy.” Taako takes Magnus’s hand in both of his own and puts it on his chest. Magnus can feel his heart beating gently against his sternum. This, more than anything, pulls Magnus back into the moment. Anything from the past doesn’t matter as much as sitting here with his hand on Taako’s heart. His thumb is at the bottom of Taako’s v-neck; boldly he moves his thumb up a fraction of an inch to press against bare skin.

Taako clears his throat and moistens his lips with the tip of his tongue. Magnus glimpses his teeth – pearly white, not bloodstained like his dream. Taako lets go of Magnus’s hand with one of his, and reaches up to unlace the top of his shirt.

Unlaced, his shirt falls open nearly to his navel, and Taako leans close to Magnus, pushing Magnus’s hand inside his shirt. His skin is cool in the evening air but he reacts to Magnus’s touch, shivering a little as Magnus spreads his fingers, exploring his ribs.

“Sorry,” Magnus whispers. “My hands are rough.”

Taako shrugs, laughing softly. “Maybe I like that.” He puts a hand on Magnus’s face and pulls closer, his forehead brushing Magnus’s cheek. His hair smells good too, something mildly floral and spicy. Magnus can’t help but inhale deeply.

Why does this feel familiar? He has never touched Taako like this before, even in his dreams. (Okay, maybe in his dreams, but only in the ones that make Magnus blush when he sees Taako the next day and then do his best to forget any visions his treacherous mind conjured up in the night.)

Taako moves his hand up Magnus’s arm, squeezing almost absentmindedly. The hand he has on Magnus’s cheek scratches through his beard. Magnus runs his hand up and down Taako’s side, gently dragging his nails over his ribs to make Taako shiver again.

It is beyond tempting to pull Taako’s shirt off altogether but if he does there’s no more disguising what is going on here, and besides he doesn’t think he should make that choice for Taako, so he settles for wrapping his free arm around Taako’s waist and tugging him closer, if that’s possible.

Taako untucks his leg and drapes it over Magnus’s thigh, locking them together. He’s practically in Magnus’s lap now and Magnus is on fire. He moves his hand up to Taako’s chest, rubs his rough thumb over Taako’s nipple, feeling it harden under his touch as Taako gasps and shudders. He scrapes his thumbnail over it and Taako makes a tiny noise deep in his throat, curling his fingers into the hair at the back of Magnus’s head. Taako brushes his nose against Magnus’s, then tentatively presses his lips to his.

Magnus grabs Taako by the back of the neck, kissing him back with a ferocity he didn’t know he possessed, at least where as Taako is concerned. Taako exhales sharply, tightening his fingers in Magnus’s hair and kissing Magnus back in kind. Magnus is too pushy, he knows, but he presses his tongue against Taako’s lips and Taako parts them readily, sliding his arms around Magnus’s neck. Magnus sighs into his mouth and flicks his nipple again and Taako whines.

“Shush,” Magnus says against his lips, and smiles.

Taako kisses him again and looks up at him through his lashes. Magnus drops a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, then his cheeks and his forehead. Taako licks his lips, already pink and shiny from kissing. “Have we…?” he begins to ask, then stops, frowning and confused.

“Done this before?” Magnus finishes, and Taako nods. Magnus hesitates, then shakes his head uncertainly. “We’d remember.”

“Yeah,” Taako says slowly. “It just feels like…I don’t know.” He shrugs one shoulder. His shirt is slipping off it, so Magnus kisses it. Taako grins. “Maybe I just dreamed it.”

“ _Fuck_ , Taako.” Magnus closes his eyes. “You can’t just say that.”

Taako smirks like he’s well aware of what he’s doing, and nuzzles into Magnus’s neck. He feels Taako’s lips on his throat. Magnus wants this – wants _him_ so badly but if he takes this any further he’s not sure they’ll be able to stop which is only a bad thing because Merle is snoring fifteen feet away.

“You know we gotta stop,” Magnus says reluctantly.

“Yeah, I know. I’m not _stupid_ , Magnus.” Taako lays his head on Magnus’s chest and closes his eyes. Magnus gets his arms around him and pulls him all the way onto his lap, where Taako sighs and curls up against him, his weight comfortable and warm and alive and so familiar in that way Magnus can’t understand.

“Do not fall asleep and trap me here,” Taako says severely. “I will not have Merle seeing me like this.”

Magnus laughs. “Like what?”

Taako opens his eyes and flicks them up to Magnus’s, an exasperated expression on his face, plainly requesting Magnus not make him say it. Magnus understands; Taako’s pride is far too great to allow both of his companions to see him in quite such a vulnerable state.

Magnus stands, scooping Taako up along with him, ignoring Taako’s little squeak of surprise. “Probably time for bed,” Magnus says, carrying him back to his bunk. He gives Taako a boost and Taako clambers back into his bed.

Taako snuggles under his covers, looking down at Magnus with those big bright eyes, luminous and celestial. It seems like entire constellations might be contained within them, stars Magnus once knew but since forgot. Taako blinks slowly like a content feline and wriggles close to the edge of his mattress again to lean down and kiss Magnus on the forehead. “Glad you woke me.”

“Are you?” Magnus says with another laugh. He’s not sorry he woke Taako, certainly, just wishes he’d had a better reason for it.

Taako’s eyelids droop lazily. “Yeah. Don’t spread it around, but I…” A moment’s hesitation, then he says, “I like kissing you. Like your hands on me.”

Heat pools in Magnus’s stomach at Taako’s words, and with a groan, Magnus leans his forehead against the bedpost. “ _Fuck_. I can’t….” He trails off, unable to find words to express how badly he wants and how impossible it is right now. He seriously considers ducking into the bathroom to jack off just so he can sleep, but figures Taako would know exactly what he was doing, which is even more embarrassing.

Taako laughs softly and delightedly. He pillows his head on his arms and looks at Magnus with immeasurable fondness. “Nuh-night, Magnus. Sweet dreams from here on out, okay?”

Magnus goes back to bed. When he finally sleeps, he dreams of pretty elves with soft hands and red jackets and stars in his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "the 1" by Taylor Swift. Chances of me writing a sequel to this are decidedly non-zero.


End file.
